Living with an Alcoholic – Best Coping Strategies for Family Members

father and son talking about living with an alcoholic while sitting on a couch

Alcoholism is a devastating disease, and its effects are strongly felt by anyone who lives with an alcoholic. The effects of alcohol addiction impact one’s closest relationships and ripple through every corner of a home. For those living with an alcoholic, helping and supporting a loved one who is an alcoholic can be one of the most challenging experiences. 

At Rockland Recovery Group, we believe in supporting not just the individual, but also their loved ones and family through the addiction recovery journey. This begins by helping loved ones to understand alcoholism as a disease, and by acknowledging the impact on family dynamics. 

Understanding Alcoholism as a Disease 

When someone is struggling with how to deal with an alcoholic spouse, partner, or family member, it’s important to understand that alcoholism is a disease. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is the diagnostic term for alcoholism and is a disease that has physical effects on the brain and central nervous system. It changes how the body and mind respond to alcohol. 

Alcoholism isn’t a deliberate choice. When dealing with an alcoholic in one’s home, the perception can lean toward the idea that the individual is making the choice to drink, choosing not to stop and that they are completely in control and are choosing to put their family unit at risk. However, this isn’t the case. 

Alcoholism by its nature is marked by compulsive drinking, even when the consequences are severe and the stakes are high. The physiological effects of alcoholism are too strong to overcome without professional alcohol rehab treatment. 

Individuals who live with an alcoholic should feel their thoughts, emotions, and fears are validated, and they should feel confident in setting boundaries. But, it’s also important to not lose sight of the fact that alcoholism is a disease that needs to be treated. 

For more resources on alcoholism as a disease, Rockland Recovery Group recommends the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website as a highly valuable resource. 

The Impact of Alcoholism on Family Dynamics 

The effects of alcoholism are not only felt by the person experiencing it but also by their family and close relationships. Alcoholism can strain relationships, cause trauma, create emotional distance, damage trust, and, in many cases, put the household in financial jeopardy. 

Alcoholism can be highly unpredictable. In the home, it can create an atmosphere of constant stress and anxiety for family members. It’s not uncommon for someone who lives with an alcoholic to feel as though they are constantly walking on eggshells. The effects of this on children can create long-lasting trauma. 

The unhealthy dynamics of a home where alcoholism is present often nourish codependency, where family members and loved ones enable unhealthy behaviors in an effort to keep the peace. Acknowledging all of these ways that alcoholism can affect the family is important for seeking help and working to rebuild healthy family relationships. 

How to Live with an Alcoholic 

The dynamics of living with an alcoholic husband, wife, partner, or parent are different for each household. For some, living with an alcoholic can feel hopeless, like they have forever lost the person they love. 

For others, self-preservation becomes important. Alcoholism and domestic violence or abuse are dangerous situations, and the focus is shifted from helping the alcoholic to leaving the situation and remaining safe. If you or someone you love is in danger of being in an abusive situation, getting out and finding safety absolutely needs to be the first priority. 

Living with an alcoholic requires an understanding that it’s not possible to fix the loved one’s addiction. Alcoholism is a disease that requires treatment, and it’s also a chronic condition that may require long-term treatment. Rather than focusing on how to fix a loved one’s alcohol addiction, there are several steps someone can take to ease the emotional toll. 

Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Codependent Behaviors

Setting healthy boundaries is important. Boundaries are not about punishing your loved one or giving ultimatums. This is about protecting yourself and your emotional health.  

Effective Communication Strategies for Families of an Alcoholic

Effective communication skills are essential for communication with someone with an addiction. Maintaining calm and being non-confrontational is important.  Using “I” statements rather than accusations is an example of this. 

Encouraging Treatment for Alcohol Addiction

A person with an alcohol addiction might not want to hear that they should seek treatment, but it remains something that needs to be said. Encouraging a loved one to seek treatment can be challenging, and their receptiveness and readiness may vary. 

Family members and loved ones can help by providing information about addiction treatment centers, and treatment options, like inpatient rehab and outpatient addiction recovery programs. Ensure them that you’re there to offer support every step of the way. 

Taking Care of Yourself: 

During this challenging time, taking care of yourself is critical. Living with an alcoholic is stressful and you may feel consumed by the needs of your loved one. Self-care is often one of the first things to go when a plate becomes too full. Make yourself a priority, taking time for activities you enjoy, relaxation, and seeking mental health care to help you through this process. 

Seeking Support 

Know that you don’t have to do this alone. Many people who are living with an alcoholic find comfort in therapy and support groups, such as Al-Anon, or a similar type of community-based programs. These types of experiences are important for providing you with a safe space to process emotions, develop coping strategies, and gain new perspectives about your loved one’s alcohol addiction and how it affects your life. 

Finding Support for Alcohol Addiction in Massachusetts  

Living with an alcoholic isn’t easy. It’s a time filled with emotional challenges, and it can feel as though you are being drained of your strength, patience, and compassion. Understanding alcoholism as a disease, setting boundaries, opening the lines of communication, and seeking outside support are just a few of the ways to make this time a little easier. 

Rockland Recovery Group is here to support you every step of the way. We offer alcohol addiction treatment programs and family therapy. We encourage you to reach out to Rockland Recovery at 888-299-4833 today for more information. 

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